CURSE OF THE MUMMY

                By Kevin Hines



                INT. ANCIENT EGYPTIAN TOMB

                This should be shot like an old movie. Two explorers,
                with white and light tan clothes enter the dimly lit
                tomb, pushing past cobwebs and old rocks. One of them
                holds a torch and approaches a sarcophagus.

                They find a crack in the wall to stick the torch in and
                the taller explorer, JAKE DAGGER, examines the writing on
                the sarcophagus. His partner, NICK PISTOL stands back.

                                      JAKE
                          It talks of a curse. The mummy will be
                          awakened if we do anything to defile his
                          resting place. Let's be real careful.

                Nick hands him a crowbar and Jake prys open the
                sarcophagus. 

                Nick begins rooting through stuff tossing them over his
                shoulder.

                Jake sees the mummy but it has not awoken. Jake takes its
                headdress and puts it on.

                                      JAKE (CONT'D)
                          Look at me! I'm a mummy.

                Nick laughs and then sees a row of vases. He tries to
                open them, but gives up pretty quick and starts smashing
                them against the wall to see what is inside.

                The mummy doesn't move.

                Nick sees lots of dried up organs.

                                      NICK
                          Ew!

                He stomps them.

                The mummy doesn't move.

                Jake is peeing in the corner.

                                      JAKE
                          I shouldn't have had that entire canteen!

                                      NICK
                          Are you worried...

                The mummy doesn't move.

                                      JAKE
                          No, I am using this old cask to catch...

                Jake accidentally kicks the cask and his urine pours
                everywhere.

                Nick grabs a tapestry and tries to wipe it up.

                When Nick looks up Jake is gone.

                                      NICK
                          Jake?

                The sarcophagus is closed.

                                      NICK (CONT'D)
                          Jake? Did you close the sarcophogus.

                Nick creeps over and opens it.

                Jake leaps out and screams.

                                      JAKE
                          AHHHHH! Ha. Ha. I got you.

                                      NICK
                          Where is the mummy.

                The mummy is draped over a fancy chair.

                                      JAKE
                          I can't find the gem of Ra anywhere.

                                      NICK
                          It might be on his body.

                Jake and Nick pat the body down all over. They spend a
                lot of time on the genitals. Eventually they feel the gem
                around his neck on a necklace. They pull it off dropping
                the mummy's body.

                                      JAKE
                          Let's get out of here before we do
                          something to activate the curse.

                Jake and Nick leave. Jake stops at the door.

                                      JAKE (CONT'D)
                          I'd better close this door. Out of
                          respect ancient pharoah.

                Jack closes the door.

                The mummy opens his eyes.

                                      MUMMY
                          What dicks.

                The Mummy gets up and starts cleaning everything up.

                                      MUMMY (CONT'D)
                          This is why I don't invite people over.

                THEY CAN'T ALL BE WINNERS!

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 Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.