ICICLE MELODRAMA

               By Kevin Hines



               INT. BAR

               An Icicle walks into a bar.

                                   ICICLE
                         Bartender! Get me a whiskey. Neat.

               The Bartender pours him a drink. Before he can even take one
               sip his WIFE and his two kids (SON and DAUGHTER) open the
               door of the bar. They do not enter.

                                   WIFE
                         What are you doing?

                                   ICICLE
                         What's it look like? I'm getting
                         drunk!

                                   SON
                         Dad! You're going to melt in here.

                                   ICICLE
                         Hey boy... newsflash... we're all
                         going to melt sooner or later.

                                   DAUGHTER
                         Is Daddy mad at us?

                                   WIFE
                         No honey. Tell your daughter you're
                         not mad.

                                   ICICLE
                         But I am mad! I'm mad at our stupid
                         existence. Son get over here and
                         have a drink.

                                   SON
                         Ok.

                                   WIFE
                         Don't go any further into the bar
                         or you'll melt.

                                   SON
                         Aw.

                                   DAD
                         Wouldn't you rather melt in here
                         then fall to your death like our
                         neighbors did? Why am I the only
                         one who feels something?

                                   WIFE
                         We all felt something.

                                   DAD
                         No. You didn't. What I felt can't
                         be bottled up. It can't be ignored.
                         I saw good men and women get
                         knocked off their eaves and plummet
                         to their death. Shattering like the
                         fragile creatures we are. And why?
                         Because someone... somewhere...
                         slammed a door. And if that didn't
                         happen they'd have melted. It's
                         getting warmer every day. We won't
                         be able to survive much longer. And
                         the sad thing is, I'll be the last
                         to go. I'm the biggest. Grampa's
                         been so tiny since his top half
                         broke off. You and the kids are all
                         so... small. So close to gone
                         already. You'll melt so fast, and
                         I'll have to watch it. Maybe I
                         should just shatter. Maybe the
                         others had the right idea. But I'm
                         too much of a coward to shatter.
                         So, I'm sitting her, melting into
                         this whiskey. Watering it down.
                         That's all we are at the end of the
                         day. Water.

                                   SON
                         I'm scared.

                                   DAUGHTER
                         I'm not. As long as I'm with Daddy.

               The Icicle takes a long look at his whiskey.

                                   ICICLE
                             (to himself)
                         Selfish bastard. 
                             (to his family)
                         I love you all so much. So much
                         that I was too scared to watch you
                         die. Heh. I love you so much I
                         abandoned you to face life alone.
                         That's a pretty awful way to love
                         someone. Whatever happens. I should
                         be with you. I'm sorry honey.

               The Icicle gets up and goes to his family. They all hug in
               the doorway and the doorway closes. Gently.

               The Bartender picks up the whiskey.

                                   BARTENDER
                             (to himself)
                         This one's to the luckiest piece of
                         ice I ever met.

               He drinks the whiskey.

               FADE TO BLACK.

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 Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.