News Bits for September 3, 2008

By Kevhines | Published: 9/3/2008

John McCain has chosen Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate in his bid for President of the United States. He hopes the combined ticket of McCain/Palin will score better with the “creeped out by old people” demographic.
New York State has begun monitoring obesity in their school systems, collecting summaries of BMI and weights. Governor Paterson has been applauded for finally finding a test that students will score higher in every year.
Palin’s daughter, 17 year old Bristol, was recently revealed to be pregnant. The father, Levi Johnston says he is “psyched” to be a dad. Levi is also “psyched” to find out his mom is making Stove Top Stuffing tonight.
A recent study reveals that DVR technology has improved relationships. Sadly, if you examine the survey closely, the relationships it’s improving is Jim and Pam’s Office romance.
The world’s tallest building, located in Dubai, is now 2,257 feet high (160 stories) and still growing. It appears it may reach nearly 3,000 feet high when it is completed. Reports are unclear on exactly how small the designer’s penis is but experts assume its microscopic.
“My penises is pretty small”, claimed Grant Halstead, gun enthusiast, “but not so small that I needed to build something that dwarfed the Taiwan’s Tapei 101 Tower”. Franklin Glocke agreed, “I drive my loud sports car around to make sure everyone ignores my tiny tiny dick, but the Dubai tower is even taller then the US’s KVLY-TV mast! Whoever designed it must have a penis that can’t be seen with the naked eye.”

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News Bits for September 3, 2008

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News Bits for September 3, 2008

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