Hello World!

Previously on Chaotic: Britney was lonely. Britney owned a camera. Britney meets Kevin and brings him to London so they can fuck. Britney is scared because she doesn’t know if he is the one!

Currently on this blog: I can’t believe this show needs a Previously On…

What I learned from episode 2 of CHAOTIC: Britney and Kevin

  • Britney starts concert by saying “Hello World!”. I think that is pretty cool. Though I doubt she realizes it is the standard programming cliche!
  • Britney still uses the phrase “talk to the hand, because the face ain’t listening.”
  • This episodes camera amusement comes from how Britney and Kevin look in nightvision. “we look like vampires!
  • Mo (the bodyguard) is not dumb. He outsmarts Kevin by knowing that Kevin is lying when he says the camera is off (Mo noticed the recording light). In Kevin’s defense, I am not sure he knows if the camera is recording or not.
  • Britney’s concerts involve shirtless men in suspenders. Lots of gleaming skin. Beds on the stage. Girls in lingerie. I guess it is not a revelation to think her shows look like strip shows.
  • Kevin makes Britney happy. From what I can tell the way he does this is by getting her drunk and smiling when she accuses her driver of farting. Oh yes, and the sex is great. As she continues to remind her video camera.
  • Britney reassures Kevin that she won’t leave him for the newly single Brad Pitt. He is worried because she has made all her other dreams come true.
  • Britney is ridiculously scared of flying. She screams and clutches people for the entire landing. She thinks they might never see the ground and then they will crash. Her entourage makes fun of her for this. And it pisses Britney off. She is so human.
  • As Kevin videotapes Britney’s butt he asks her if their relationship is more then sex. Kevin thinks it is.

About halfway through the 30 minute episode it gets serious to tell us a bit about where Kevin comes from. Divorced parents. Then he moved to LA without a job. Then he got a job dancing.

…um…that’s it.

I guess his ex-girlfriend who is pregnant doesn’t factor into this story.

Kevin: “who said anything but love?”. What a cliffhanger end to the episode!

At least half of this episode was with nightvision light and close up shots of their noses.

I have 2 more episodes on my DVR! Get excited!

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3 Comments

  1. Are you serious?
    Posted 6/8/2005 at 12:15 am | Permalink

    What I learned from Kevin’s second post devoted to Chaotic:

    ~Kevin secretly imagines that he is Kevin Federline because “the sex is great”
    ~Kevin has too much time on his hands
    ~Kevin’s fascination with Chaotic stems from his deep internal desire to know what it’s really like to have millions of dollars…and still be trailor trash
    ~Kevin must reaalllllyy want to know what it’s like, as this is his second post devoted to Chaotic
    ~Kevin has no life…and he DVRed this series

  2. Dave
    Posted 6/8/2005 at 11:56 am | Permalink

    Kevin Hines is so human.

  3. Natasha
    Posted 6/13/2005 at 8:41 am | Permalink

    Hey Mr. “are you serious” Kevin is summarizing Chaotic posts because I requested it! This shows that you don’t know that:
    –Kevin is nice
    –Kevin is a lot of other good things.
    Thank you.

    Also, Kevin I am really glad you are giving the recaps because Brett wouldn’t let me watch the whole episode. In his words, “I can’t watch this.” and “The night vision and camera moves are making me sick.” Also, your account of it is, as I suspected, far more interesting than the show. Keep it up!

    Suck it Are you serious!

  • Random Quote

    “Have you ever ridden a horse out into the ocean forcing it to drown alongside you?”