Spider-Man is no longer married.

In 1987 Peter Parker married Mary Jane Watson. I am not sure what the reaction was at the time, but now some people never liked the idea. They felt that Peter Parker’s troubled dating life was an important aspect of the character. I can’t say I ever found it that essential. I generally found his real life problems were central to his character, and therefore relationship problems were important. That could be a relationship problems with his wife just as easy as it could be with a girlfriend.

Well, it doesn’t matter because Peter Parker and his wife Mary Jane made a deal with the devil (seriously) to change it so they were never married.

Now people are upset that all the stories that have taken place over the last 20 years didn’t count. Marvel’s editor’s claim that they still happened, just Peter and Mary Jane were not married in them. Just in a serious relationship.

I don’t actually mind undoing changes in comics with a magical erase button. Spider-Man has been going for over 40 years and its probably good to ignore any of the stupid stories. In fact with this most recent blatant request to ignore the past we get to easily ignore some awful things that have happened to Spider-Man lately.

(prepare for this post to look a bit wonky because I was having trouble placing all the images I used)

unmasked

Spider-Man’s identity was public - Spider-Man unmasked on TV. So everyone knew Peter Parker was Spider-Man. Not anymore. No one knows Spider-Man identity. No one. Not even folks that knew before the television reveal. Daredevil doesn’t know. Aunt May doesn’t know (I kind of liked her knowing). Mary Jane doesn’t know (I loved her knowing. I’ll get into that later.) No one knows.

mechanical webshooters

Spider-Man had organic web-shooters - Spider-Man had gained organic web-shooters that luckily worked just like his old mechanical ones. They were also just like the movie version of Spider-Man. What a lucky coincidence! Well those are gone now.
Spider-Man had other lame new powers - He could grow spikes out of his arm that were poisonous and he could talk to spiders. Maybe more. I try not to think about it. Those powers are (thankfully) gone.

seriously?

Spider-Man works at the Daily Bugle again - Peter had left the Bugle and become a high school teacher. I kind of liked that change, but once again Peter Parker is a freelance photographer for the Bugle taking pictures of himself. Which I also like.

Harry Osborn is alive - Harry Osborn, who had become the Green Goblin, died trying to kill Spider-Man. A few years back his dad was brought ‘back to life’ by revealing he had never died. So now they are both alive. Its true Spidey needs the arch-nemisis he gets from the Green Goblin, but having both of them alive seems pointless. Frankly I enjoyed Harry as the Green Goblin more, but with his Dad alive I am not sure he would be as interesting.

senses a good picture	friends fighting

So overall the changes are pretty mixed with what I like, what I think was unnecessary, and what I don’t like. Still the main reason they made this change was to re-emphasize Peter’s dating life. So I found myself thinking about the girls of Peter Parker and I realized I don’t really like most of them.

Betty Brant - Peter’s first girlfriend. I loved that Peter went from the friendless geek to being brave enough to ask out Betty. But once they started dating she became jealous and her fear of Spider-Man was always annoying.

Betty Brant

Gwen Stacy’s best moment

Gwen Stacy - A pretty blonde girl whose dad was a police detective. She was also smart. I know a lot of people loved her, but in the issues I read she seemed pretty bland. She didn’t seem to have any personality outside of Peter Parker and her dad. I enjoyed her dad’s relationship with Peter (and Spider-Man) more. Eventually Gwen was killed by the Green Goblin and that death was more interesting then all their dating.

pre-’crazy’

Debra Whitman - I don’t think they dated much. She pined over Peter for a while, but once they started dating she went ‘crazy’ thinking that Peter Parker was Spider-Man. Once she ‘realized’ this was ridiculous she seemed to leave the book.

high boob content

Black Cat - They were dating when I first started reading comics, so I have a bit of a soft spot for her. A former thief (think rip-off of Catwoman) she reformed to date Spider-Man. She was a fun twist in that she didn’t know (for a while) who Spider-Man was. When she did find out she was disappointed and preferred to think of him as only Spider-Man. I forget why they broke up.

unmasked

Mary Jane Watson – His neighbor’s niece, Peter avoided meeting her for a while but then was shocked that she was so pretty. She was a party girl who ignored problems in favor of having fun. When Gwen died she got more serious and eventually started dating Peter. A neat reveal (change) was made right before they got married. Mary Jane always knew Peter Parker was Spider-Man (she saw him change through his bedroom window). I loved this reveal. It was an interesting change having her always know, but never mention it or make a big deal about it. She kept it a secret from Peter even. I really wish with the marriage being undone that she still knew that Spider-Man and Peter were one and the same for that fun twist on the secret identity trope. Particularly because they never got to play with the idea much since they got married soon after the reveal. Sadly, that seems to be gone now too.

The truth is most of these girls were not that interesting because Stan Lee couldn’t write girls very well. Even super-heroines like the Invisible Girl and the Wasp spent more time shopping and trying on wigs to be that interesting.